The Self-Hate Issue

These days most people have a problem with their appearance, whether it’s girls or guys. You can flick on the TV and every other advert is for a new ‘scientific breakthrough’ in skin regeneration, or a new deodorant that will apparently force women to offer you a quick shag if you ask them when the next bus is due. And all of this, every single advert, is feeding off the lack of personal contentment young people carry with them. Appearance is everything: girls will buy Heat or Cosmo because they hope that somewhere in that over-priced waste of tree is some shining secret that will rid them of that sick feeling they get when they walk past a mirror. We guys are exactly the same, from Men’s Health, to Four Four Two to even something like Kerrang; we end up feeling crap because what we see is something that makes us feel inadequate in the shape of a footballer or a ‘cool’ looking rock star.

It is all utter bullshit.

But to deem something ‘bullshit’ is a hell of a lot easier than finding a solution to an ever-evolving problem. What I find has always been the root of my insecurities is how I believe other people are viewing me. It seems like a crazy idea to actually read it, but it really is a product of one part our culture, to two parts our own twisted view of what is acceptable.
My own way of dealing with this is ‘accomplishment’; what I mean is I fill my day with so many things to do – things I know I can do – that by the time I get round to going out I am a) either too tired to truly care if a girl walking past me thinks I’m fit or not or b) I’m so high on self-accomplishment it doesn’t phase me as much. And that’s one of the biggest truths we deny in this age. We will never truly rid ourselves of the way we pull our t-shirts out to less empathise our stomach or the way we walk past a mirrored surface and hate what we see in that passing millisecond. It seems what we should be looking at is how we can simply make it less of problem, rather than attempt to eradicate something beyond the realm of your control.

The best advice I can give you is enjoy life: fill your day with things you know you will pull off and do well. Some love a challenge, others find encouragement in repetition. The means doesn’t matter, it’s the decent feeling at the end of it when you look in that mirror and want to run away from what you see that little bit less than you did a few days earlier.